Start by asking yourself this question: how are you perpetuating the myth of the super mom? So, this Mother’s Day 2021, honor myself and all the mothers in your life by acknowledging that we are toggling between surviving and thriving in spite of the barriers, detours and roadblocks that we encounter along this journey. Because no one can be super all of the time. We perpetuate a myth, a stereotype, a fairytale that does not exist. I want to curl up into a fetal position in my bed and sleep for 14 straight hours.īecause when we call a mother a super mom, we are setting her up, holding her up, judging her against an impossible standard. I want to leap off that pedestal, take off the crown, and hang-up my cape. So was there ever any choice but to be super? Day in and day out, we navigate failed processes and policies, broken systems, and outdated infrastructures. What our communities, what our companies, what our governments continue to fail to provide us and our families. We are super moms, for so many more reasons that I don’t have the space to include, thriving in spite of what the world has set up for us. Even though we feel the pressure to make an either/or choice. Because we want to be both incredible mothers and incredible leaders. I hope someone is asking them how they manage to do it all. Because I can’t remember the last time someone I know called the men who are fathers in my life super dads. With a lot of guilt, fear and living in a perpetual state of exhaustion. Because some of us have somehow managed to beat the odds and hold onto our jobs during this pandemic. We ordered the birthday gifts, we sent out a bunch of urgent emails, we replenished the snack cupboard, we fielded two calls from our boss during dinner while muting the chaos at our table, and oh yes, we did two loads of laundry in between. We managed to make meatballs at 5:30 am while prepping for a management presentation while everyone else was still asleep. Because we drove back to school to drop off that hat for hat day. While working fathers benefit from the fatherhood premium, because they are viewed as being more stable, more committed, and as a result, paid more. This penalty shows up at every turn including our compensation. Because we have to endure the motherhood penalty. To continue to feed our babies and sometimes feel the unbearable pressure to do so. Because we have to pump in closets, airport bathrooms, our cars, and more small places and spaces than we care to remember. Because we should have more paid time off with our babies (and I shouldn’t get less time to bond because I didn’t give birth to my baby.) Yet we have to rush back to work before our minds and our bodies and our babies are ready, scared that they might give our jobs away. Why? Why are people so quick to call us out, immediately label us, embrace us, put us on a pedestal to celebrate us, to be honored as heroic super moms? We are super moms. I am the ultimate super mom.Īnd over the days, months and years, I started to wonder why. I am a goddess to be worshiped and revered. I am a magical creature, I am a superhero, I am a mythical figure. Because yes, I am super mom, thank you very much. In response, I would smile and nod, and say thank you. A title that was bestowed upon me not one I had ever asked for or fully understood the gravity of when I first became a mom. A phrase that I used to think was a compliment. I have lost track of how many times I have heard this phrase. “ How do you do it all? You are a super mom!” “You have two little ones, you have a big job, and you write.
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